


Detective Squarepants

by SeashellWriter



Category: SpongeBob SquarePants (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Based on a SpongeBob SquarePants Episode, Detectives, M/M, Violence, Why Did I Write This?, thugs - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-29
Updated: 2017-11-29
Packaged: 2019-02-08 07:39:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12859914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SeashellWriter/pseuds/SeashellWriter
Summary: Trying to find a hotel in the middle of the city of Bikini Bottom was supposed to be easy.But not for Spongebob.





	Detective Squarepants

Lightning flashes across the black, starless sky, lighting the city up briefly before a loud boom of thunder sounds overhead. Rain crashes harshly against the roads and sidewalks, creating clear puddles in its wake. A young man, no older than twenty, walks briskly across the damp sidewalk, his black shoes splashing against puddles, as he tries to shield himself from the rain with his light gray suit coat. He clutches onto his homburg hat atop his blonde, soaked hair with his other hand, as his big blue eyes sweep across the area for some sort of cover from the downpour. He suddenly lets out a sneeze, before sniffling loudly.

“Barnacles… Where’s the restaurant… I’m sure it was this way,” He murmurs to himself quietly in frustration.

Through the pitter patter of rain, he hears something… He abruptly stops before turning around, only to see no body there on the empty sidewalk. Odd… He could’ve sworn he heard someone. He takes a deep breath, brushing off the noise, before continuing his search for shelter or the blasted restaurant he can’t find. That’s when a hand slaps across his mouth and causes him to lose balance, sending him backwards into something solid. He can only gasp out in surprise as his hat falls to the ground, forgotten. He starts twisting around in an effort to get away, but the stranger who has him wraps an arm around his torso in an iron grip. His screams are muffled by the hand covering his mouth, as he’s dragged into a dark alleyway, hidden by any passersby. Two men dressed in black suits appear in his field of vision, one armed with a bat, and the other armed with a rifle.

Fear wells up in the young man’s stomach as he begins to wonder if he’s ever going to see his friends again. He feels himself be pat down by the man that’s holding onto him. The man’s hand brushes over the pocket where his pistol lays hidden, before taking it out and throwing it across the ground.

“Alright, listen up,” The man with the baseball bat says, “We’re going to make this nice and easy for you. You answer our questions, no one gets hurt. Capiche?”  

He nods slowly, feeling a wave of dread come over him as his mouth is finally uncovered.

“We’re just wondering where Mr. Krabs is. Familiar right? Shouldn’t be too hard of a question, even for a pipsqueak like you,” The same man says, before all three of them let out cruel snickers.

“W-Why do y-you want to k-know where M-Mr. Krabs is?” He asks shakily, having a bad feeling that they want to harm his old boss, and friend. These men must be part of a gang, or the mafia even he concludes.

“Hey! We’re the ones asking the questions,” The man barks out harshly, raising the baseball bat up threateningly, “I’m going to ask nicely one last time, kid. Where’s Eugene Krabs?”  

“I’m not telling you!” He retorts back with finality, glaring at them with as much bravery as he can muster.

“Alright, if that’s how you want to be… We’ll just have to play the hard way,” The man with the rifle says in an eerily calm tone, before he nods over to the man with the bat.

The man that was signaled to smirks, malice shining in his eyes, before the blonde is let go suddenly, causing him to fall hard onto the damp ground. Before he can attempt to get up, something smashes into his right side painfully causing him to scream out.

“Where’s Eugene Krabs?!” He hears someone yell above him.

“I-I… W-Won’t tell… You,” The young man grits out determinedly, curling up onto his injured side in a fetal position.

“Wrong answer.”

A blinding white flash darts across his vision suddenly, before pain shoots through his left eye. He cries out in agony, raising his hand up to where his eye is and clutching onto it protectively.

“Where is he?!”

He doesn’t answer this time, only letting out a string of whimpers as he shivers against the cold ground he’s lying on. The baseball bat comes down onto him again and again, hitting against his stomach several times, knocking the wind right out of him. He wheezes, coughing up blood before hunching into himself even more, feeling every inch of him screaming out. He… Can’t see out of his left eye…

“Whe… Is…. e?!” Is all he can pick up through the haze of his pain.

Instead of feeling another blow, the three men go oddly quiet. He hears someone else speak, but can’t discern what they’re saying. Their voice is strangely familiar to him however. His good eye opens slowly, the corners of his vision darkening. He can faintly see two figures scuffling against one another, before a gunshot rings out across the alleyway, and one of the figures plummets to the ground. Everything slowly fades to black.

…

He’s… Swaying.

He feels sick…

He’s looking down at a damp, white sidewalk.

Rain is still pouring onto him and he hears the soft clacking of shoes against the concrete ground.

His stomach is pressed up against something uncomfortably.

Is he… Leaning over something?

Darkness sweeps him up again.

…

Warm… He feels really warm and safe.

And… weak throbbing pain.

The young man’s eye opens up slightly, taking in a small bedroom lit up dimly by a blinking, neon red motel sign shining through the window. He’s in a bed, heavy blankets covering him. His hand comes up to wear his left eye is, feeling a bandage covering it. He traces the rough texture lightly before his hand lowers back down to the sheets, lifting the covers up to see himself dressed in an oversized, light pink nightgown. He drops the blankets back down onto him, his dazed feeling slowly being replaced with panic when he starts recalling the events that took place before he blacked out. Where is he?! Did those men kidnap him? Just then, the bedroom door swings open, causing light to stream into the room. He blinks a couple of times, eye adjusting to the bright light.

“It’s about time you woke up,” He hears the figure in the doorway say, exasperated.

That deep, masculine voice.

“S-Squidward?” He stutters out in surprise, his voice sounding quiet and hoarse.

He feels his heart flutter at the realization, relief pouring into him when he knows that he wasn’t kidnapped.

The gray-haired man walks over to the side of the bed as the young man stares at him in awe. Squidward then holds a glass of water out to him and he takes it gratefully, before chugging it down in practically one gulp. After he’s done, he sets the empty glass down onto the nightstand beside the bed, wincing slightly when he feels pain run up his injured side. He swallows shakily before looking up at Squidward and offering him a weak smile.

“Thanks,” He says, his voice stronger than before from the water, “How long was I out?”

Squidward sits down onto the edge of the bed causing it to dip down slightly under his weight. His brown eyes are guarded.

“A day,” He replies to the young man rather bluntly.

“A day?! What happened?” He says alarmed, sitting up abruptly.

He immediately regrets it when he feels his stomach and side protest in pain, causing tears to well up in his eye.

“Relax, Spongebob!” Squidward says, pushing him firmly back down onto the bed, “You’re going to hurt yourself!”

The blonde-haired man, or also known as Spongebob, lets out a groan, closing his eye tightly and waiting for the unbearable pain to subside.  

“Sponge?” Squidward’s normal dull tone is heavy with concern now, and Spongebob feels a light touch on his shoulder.

He opens his eye then, breathing out heavily before saying through gritted teeth, “I-I’m ok! I just… Jostled my injuries a little.”

He gives the normally grumpy man another pain filled smile, and Squidward only gives him a stern look in return, retracting his hand from the young man’s shoulder.

“You Moron. Don’t do that again,” He tells Spongebob, his stony mask returning.

“S-Sorry, I just got worried about Gary, I need to feed him, and what about my friends? I bet Sandy and Patrick are probably worried sick about me! And-”  

“Enough, kid, you’re going to wear yourself out,” Squidward cuts in, interrupting the boy’s rambling.

“Sorry, Squidward. I guess I can get carried away sometimes,” Spongebob says apologetically, red dusting his freckled cheeks in embarrassment.

“That’s the understatement of the year,” He says dryly, rolling his eyes.

The sarcastic comment goes right over the blonde’s head, only giving his partner a curiosity filled look. He opens his mouth, about to ask something, but Squidward beats him to the punch.

“Anyways, now that you’re awake, I can ask you a couple of questions.”

“But I-“

“Ah ah, no buts, these are questions that can’t be ignored…“

Spongebob suppresses a sigh and nods in understanding.

"It’s… About the men who beat you up,” Squidward murmurs delicately, his eyes briefly meeting Spongebob’s before he looks at the wall across from him.

The young man smiles at that, a warm feeling building up in his stomach. Even if this action is rather small, and would look normal to anyone else, Spongebob knows that this hesitancy is Squidward showing that he does indeed care about him.

“It’s ok, Squidward,” The blonde says, taking his partner’s hand into his own and giving it a reassuring squeeze.

Squidward stiffens at the contact but surprisingly doesn’t pull away. He instead leaves his hand where it is, causing the warm tingly feeling Spongebob’s feeling to increase.

“Alright,” He continues awkwardly, “Do you know why those men beat you up?”

“Yes,” Spongebob replies.

Silence sweeps over them, before Squidward says impatiently, “Well? Aren’t you going to tell me why?”

“Oh! Well, it was because they wanted to know where Mr. Krabs was, and I refused to tell them, because I’m sure they would’ve hurt him if I did!” Spongebob says, worry filling his tone, “Oh Squidward! We have to warn Mr. Krabs!”

“Don’t worry… It’s already taken care of, but they were trying to beat you for answers?” The gray-haired man asks, his voice tightening.

“Y-Yes…” Spongebob answers, suddenly feeling cold when he replays the incident in his head. He feels relieved to hear that Mr. Krabs is safe however.

A disgusted look spreads over the older man’s face at the confirmation, not saying another word. The younger man looks up at him, seeing anger in Squidward’s lackluster, brown eyes. The emotion is all too familiar to Spongebob, usually having the full force of Squidward’s wrath directed at him, but to see it directed at something else… It oddly enough brings him solace. Especially since that anger is aimed at his attackers. Is it okay to be feeling happy over this?

“Squidward, how’d I end up here?” The question slips out of his mouth before he can stop it.

Squidward goes rigid at the question, his eyes snapping back over to Spongebob.

“I… Just found you lying in an alleyway and brought you back here, that’s all,” The older man replies quickly, brushing off the question.

The blonde’s detective instincts kick in then, feeling suspicious. Squidward isn’t telling him the whole truth.

“How’d you find me? And what about those men? Surely, they wouldn’t have just left me there, at least not alive,” Spongebob says, unwavering.

The gray-haired man shudders at the image of finding his partner dead, another unlucky victim murdered by some ruthless thugs…

“It hardly matters and aren’t I supposed to be the one asking the questions right now?” He says in an attempt to change the subject.

“It matters to me, Squidward,” Spongebob insists, “I can also remember, before I blacked out, I… remember hearing gunshots… And seeing two people fighting each other.”

“What does that have to do with anything?” Squidward asks, a nervous edge to his voice.

“Well, I’m just wondering if you saved me from those men. I want to thank you if you did,” The younger man says, his voice more subdued now.

“Well… I…” His partner trails off, at a loss for words.

He then lets out a sigh and looks down at his held hand, before relenting, saying “Alright, Spongebob. Alright… I… did save you. You didn’t come to the celebratory party you were having, so eventually, I- ehem, Patrick got concerned about you, so naturally, I went out to go look for you. Reluctantly mind you. As I was walking I heard something that sounded like whimpering, coming from an alleyway. I went to go check out what was going on, and saw three men surrounding you… I asked what they were doing, and that’s when I noticed that they were carrying weapons… And you… You looked horrible. Your eye was swollen shut, and there was blood trickling out of your mouth. They all looked stunned to see me, so I used that to my advantage, and took on the man that was holding a gun. After struggling to get the weapon out of his hands, I managed to turn the gun on him, and I shot him. The other two men took off running, and I would’ve chased after them, if it weren’t for you. I picked you up and slung you over my shoulder, before finding a telephone booth and calling the police, telling them where the man I shot was. I then returned to my apartment with you, got you into a new set of clothes, and bandaged you up. And… Here you are now. There, happy?”

Spongebob stares at him, his blue eye sparkling, listening to every word with bated breath. He feels… So happy… Squidward really does care about him. Of course he knew that from the start, but to have it confirmed… It’s very elating! He suddenly jumps up and gives Squidward a big hug, wrapping his arms tightly around him. Despite the instant pain he feels after doing so, he doesn’t let go. Squidward flinches at the sudden contact, letting out a yelp. Before he can scold Spongebob for surprising him like that, he hears the boy sniffling.

“T-Thank you, Squidward… T-Thanks for saving me…” Spongebob says emotionally, his voice muffled from Squidward’s shirt.  

Squidward feels shocked by this, not knowing what to do with himself, before he relaxes in Spongebob’s hold. A rare smile spreads across his pale face, before he returns the hug loosely. He can tell by the small gasp that the blonde makes that he is surprised.  

“You’re… Welcome,” He says naturally, stroking the boy’s back with tenderness.

‘I’d do it for you anytime,’ Squidward thinks, but he immediately pushes the thought away, telling himself that what he was just thinking is ridiculous.

He’d never admit it, but he can’t imagine a world without Spongebob.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading this. I'm a bit new to posting my works online so, don't be too harsh please! I hope you enjoyed this work?


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